Lately I have been in a total drama storm with my best friend. Now let me say this I love her as I love all my friends and I sincerely value the fact that I am the person they call when they need advice and a good talkin to!! But this one has been a total mess.
Ok lemme give you the scoop. She's been dating this guy since October. They've had a 6 yr history before that (but thats another story in itself). Anyways throughout the last 8 well I guess almost 9 months his calls have been sporadic at best. The time they spend together would make you think she reminds him of the dentist. My best friend has faithfully stood by him because she loves him.
Ok I get that. I've dealt with some really crappy stuff because I loved somebody. During the school year it was ok because she was working and she had distraction. But throughout the summer she has noticed the relationship they have isn't all roses and sunshine.
For example they were supposed to hang out on 4th of July weekend. She called to confirm there plans and he gave her a slight blow off and said he'd call her back later. Four hours later she still hadn't heard from him. She cried herself to sleep and spent the whole weekend wondering if he would call. At the end of the weekend she found out through her friend who is dating his best friend that he went to the lake without her!!!
This is where she decided to put her foot down. She didn't call of text him for a week. But seriously this is normal for them so how was he supposed to know anything was up. I politely reminded her that she needed to talk to him. Her excuse was that she didn't want to seem like a bitch. Like she was trying to rule his life or tell him what to do.
Ok now my soapbox. I have dated alot of guys. I have been in serveral toxic but very serious relationships and I've learned a thing or two. Guys are definetly black and white. There is not middle ground for them. When you say something to them they don't sit and wonder if there was a hidden meaning behind it. Basically men are pigs!! ha!
But in full disclosure that's why we like em girls. They aren't like us. They don't sit around talking about they're relationships with each other. They talk about sports, cars, guns, beer and other manly things. Sounds crazy but its true. Soooo how are you supposed to deal with the fact that they aren't thinking about you all the time?? You just accept it. Seriously. Thats just how they are. Sorry, I can't change it.
However, you don't have to let them treat you like crap. That should never be accepted. But realize this when they say something they don't think about how you might have taken it the wrong way. I know crazy right??? You have to let them know when your feelings are hurt. Cause unless your displaying the obvious sign of tears (and trust me that really freaks most guys out) they won't know it.
But they should listen to what you say and how you feel. And if they really have a pair they will do something to make it better. Now it might not be right away, some guys are extremely stubborn. But you will see results eventually.
Let me give you another piece of advice. This one I have learned through years and years and years of letting people take advantage of me. No one can hurt you unless you let them. You have to grow a tough skin and stand your ground. If you let them have power over your emotions they will. Now I know its easier said than done but it can be done. I do it everyday.
Cause like I said guys are kinda dense. You get what you see most the time. But if your clear on what you want in the relationship then it should be a very good relationship. Now if you tell him and he refuses dump him. It doesn't matter how much you love him or vice versus someone who loves you should do everything in their power not to hurt you. Its as simple as that.